Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't put those talents on a resume
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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