you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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