I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's the barista slut.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
