So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
