If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and she was petting her beer can
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
