i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize