i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize