Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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