I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
