oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize