I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
