Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
