hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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