Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
