Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
