I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
