All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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