i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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