Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
