She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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