I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
