weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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