okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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