dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize