Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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