I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You may now shotgun with the bride
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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