i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I understand Curling. That high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize