you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
