come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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