I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
