FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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