Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
