You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
