i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
