I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize