You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
