It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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