There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
