I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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