He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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