So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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