i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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