We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
