who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
