I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
More tranny stories later!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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