I'm going to jail i love you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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