I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
