Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize