I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
