i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
