I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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