remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
