Moan for me like Helen Keller
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize