I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
