last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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