So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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