is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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