My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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