Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
