I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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