So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
