There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
