Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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