Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What a dumb baby whore.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have feelings that need drinking.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
