On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
