We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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