Kiss
Puke
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
