just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
