Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
