Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
