omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
