uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
