Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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