I wish i was in the wii world.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
