Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
