How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
