is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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