my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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